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Monday, February 20, 2006

Tundra Trek 2006 - A Frigid Feat

Greetings my fine subjects!! This session of the His Majesty’s Royal Court shall be dedicated to crossing the tundras to our part time Castle in the Country.

Friday finds us in a balmy average temperature of 58 degrees. SO with spirits high we prepare ourselves for the trek to our Country Estates. The plan was to begin the journey on Saturday after our young maiden’s carriage guiding lesson. Little did we know what laid in store for us courtesy of Our Lady of Green - aka Mother Nature. It seems once again we were to be the targets of her levity. As we awoke to begin loading up the carriage for the journey and stepped out into main courtyard, we were met with such force and frigidity of wind and temperature it would make the local courtesan blush! A low 27 degrees and falling courtesy of ye old man blowhard, winter wind!! All that came to mind was ”A Pox on Thee Old Man Winter!!”
SO in hasty fashion and lack of breath I loaded up the carriage. After what seemed like a million trips hither and yon, I had all that the Queen and young Maiden, ”Princess Younger” had ready, I took a short restbit. Lets just say that it was very short!! We finally finished our loading and had to secure the guard dogs in their temporary lodgings at the local houndatorium. This complete our trek began. First destination an eatery in a not too out of the way place called Hibernia, I believe it to be ruled by the Celts!? Traveling in such a large carriage, we were forced to leave it a bit of a ways from the drawbridge of this keep, this compared to past visits. Oh the nipping bite of Old Man Winter surely does not do a body good!! After grabbing some grub and warming the old bones, off we set again. This time to head to a quaint little mountain keep in Pa.

As the hour is late and the telling of this tale begining to obtain a lengthy and boring swing surely that every balladeer would choose to leave this tale untold, I shall keep thee in suspense to the morrow!!

SO the Royal Edict for this night shall be - Every tale that is told whether of warmth or of cold, by young or by old should know when to crease and the paper to fold!! In other words know when to close the book and say goodnight, for the morrow will too need a tale to be told!

Saturday, February 18, 2006

A Jaunt to the Village Apothecary

Isn’t it always the way that you harness up the steeds to the carriage to head out on yonder trail to the Village Apothocary only to have some rapscallion of a newts underbelly do a bogus maneuver right in front of you! Not only does it cause your steeds to lurch, but it sets the Queen’s vapors in a tizzy! If only my trusty Wizard was with us, then the path would have been laiden full of rolly polly little puppies for all the young squires and maidens to frolic with!! Ah to dream!!!
Well once our jaunt ended at the Apothecary, we found that something was amiss!! What you say....
The vile unholy box that hath the words magically appear as one pounds upon some plastic slab filled with scribbles of some kind of how was it called ... Numerals and alphabetics? Starts screaming and beeping all these sounds that the young maiden assisting the apothecarianist translated to us as meaning “the foul contraption at the other end is not communicating at this time”!!! SO after what should have been a 5 - 10 minute process becomes a 30 minute hesitation to our fully overloaded evening!!

Oh well alas the waiting ended and we were able to leave with our potions and pills, AND A GREAT DEAL on Corn of popping for $0.99 a large sack!

All I can say is - A perfect schedule is one that is set in sand, although it may be written in complexity detailing all facets of task, journey or leisure, by the time you’ve finished the detailing someone’s “Tail has already De-molished your plans! This leads me to tonight’s Royal Edict:- Make not a schedule of events, tasks and labors lest ye leave room for the agendas pre-established by pixies, sprites and imps to dismount your quest!!

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Castle Conundrums II

At last the fiendish Insurance dragons have left our fair kingdom!!! After a myriad of look at this, measure that, cut this and click a pic of that off he flew to tally up the inflicted damages and decide if it is remuneration or debtors prison! Oh yeah they were abolished under a much earlier edict!!
All seemed to fair well, except for the one foot by one foot hole in my bedroom carpet clean down through the padding to the concrete below!! Time will Tell!!

So, as I sit and ponder the days haps and mishaps, I choose to dwell only on the good and happy things rather on those one wishes never to have transpired.

1) I was blessed to see a new sunny and warm day set forth from and by GOD
2) I had my evening repast with 2 of the 3 lovelies that my life is blessed with
3) I received a bounty full of unconditional loving from my 2 canine castle guards
4) I made a few people laugh, smile and/or feel a little happier or less heart heavy
5) I festooned my sleeping chamber window with the new curtains we purchased almost a month ago

There are many more that I could quill to this electronic papyrus, but for brevity’s sake and to keep from boredom’s onset I shall stop anon.

The Edict for today is: Count not the hardships and sorrows of thine own for they shall be the cornerstones of your impending despairity.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Hear Ye Hear Ye The Castle Gets Reviewed

The local housing squire of the castles protection firm shall be paying us a visit this morrow. We are in for a re-assessment of the damages caused by Mother Nature’s 13 days of Fury October past. She in all of her glory has deemed the necessity to drench our castle to flooding proportions. As such we had the local masonry re-roof, re-wall, new windows and new portcullis our humble castle. Keeping with the heart, and feng shui, we went with the red, white and blue. Of course the red was the portcullis, the white was the trim and the blue the main structure and roof. Once these were completed, that left us with the flooded hallways and kitchen, leaking bedroom and bathroom. Just when we thought nothing else could moisten us further, we found that the pantry, bedroom floor and kitchen/hallway walls were all damaged and molding. This forced us to pull up the carpeting and empty the pantry’s lower quadrant of rusting, rotting, molded and damaged items. Oh the fun!! The lovely winds accompanying this storm also proved too much for our battlements and the fences failed and ultimately fell under the wakes of battle!!
So to get to the point....
In the morrow yon squire shall be here early to look at all damages we have found since the last visit of the southern knight.

My edict is that retribution be paid for the extra items, but will the firm be friend or fiend?!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Welcome To My Realm

For all of you who deem it necessary to defy the ranting and ravings of normalcy I say ..... WELCOME !!!

This domain will travel the outer limits of your minds eye and cause you to question what is real and what is only thought to be real!
It shall also communicate rash and sometimes nerve racking context that can cause pandemonium in and to any normalist. It is this reason, and many vast more that I have decreed this realm be founded and inked to this webspace.

Once again I bid you a fond welcome! heheheHeHEHE!!

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