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Monday, May 29, 2006

Ready Aim Fire!!

Hear Ye Hear Ye!!.... The KING DOTH RETURN FROM HIATUS!!
Well tis a sad state of affairs when thou dost find out that his royal one is practicing for a new career!! Yup tis correct, unlike the good sovereign of yesteryear, our devoted highness has been seen recently sailing the bounty main training to join the ranks of those scallywags. The dread Buccaneers of the Long Island Sound!! Yes tis a fact that he has been honing up his artillery skills shooting cannons aboard the HMS DELL!! I must say that he hath become a cracker jack shot and a “Living Legend” as called by the teachers of such arts!! Yup that is right I have been slacking off and playing “Pirate Poppers”!! What can I say “It’s Good To Be The King!!”

On a secondary note her highness the Queen is a bit in the ouchies of late as she is suffering from an ailment to the knee and must go visit yon orthopedist, aka apothecary. SO if you can all well wishes are much appreciated as her spirits do need to be risen a tadicome.

So today’s Royal Edict: It is best not to put off until the morrow what thou can do today, unless of course thou art the King!! Once again- - - AH Tis Good To Be The King!!

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Luck Be-eth A Lady Tonight?

Ah the temptress doth lure ye to entwine thyself in her web! Alas his highness had the urge to busy himself in the games of chance only to reveal the fact that his luck doth not change. Sire entered into a tournament of the cards online this evening. The game - No Limit Texas Hold Em - the stakes - qualification to play in the finals for a seat on Celebrity poker. Unlike his first attempt where he lost everything on his first hand, his majesty lasted 38 minutes and took part in the demise of two foes! Unfortunately as fast as the seats became unoccupied, they were filled with new opponents! A fun distraction twas this joust, the cost extremely reasonable, $0.00, chips were gratis! I guess even a monarch can use practice in some things! For any that may be interested, go to www.bravotv.com and join in at celebrity poker. Free chips, no cost and plenty of practice; and if you feel lucky they run tournaments that have no buy-ins to play!! Perhaps We’ll see you there!
Tonight’s Royal Edict: If it tis the games of chance that thou dost desire, remember the limits that thy treasury doth hold! For if thou dost lose thy fortune, thy Queen’s Edict shall be far worse then any thy can imagine!!

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Hear Ye Hear Ye - YET ANOTHER ATTEMPT On The KING!!

Alas as is true to form His Royal Majesty the King has once again fallen prey to an attempt on his existence!!
After weeks of recovery and beginning to feel as if finally tides were at last heading in the right direction, an attempt was once again made on Our Benevolent Despot! The King hath ventured forth unto the distant realm of Sir Mickey of Dee’s, aka the dwelling of Lord Ronald of McDonald, to partake in a most bountiful feast for the A of M repast. Upon delivery of the youngest of the Princesses to the Abbey of Education, as she be burdenedeth with the trunks of travel for her journey to the Falls of Niagara this weeks end, myself, the King, my Queen and the eldest of the Princesses hath decided that we would graciously accept the invitation to morning repast at Lord McDonald’s abode. As I hath felt that I no longer was suffering from the last attempt on my gizzards, I did as every Ruler hath done at one era or another in his life, Indulgeth in too much edible delicacies. Unbeknownst to his highness the repast hath been laced with too much of the apothecaries mix of gorge, aka fat content. As the clock did pass 20 of the minutes after he doth consume the tainted edibles, Our despot did receive the infliction of massive pain unto the Gall of Bladder!! Alas once again His Highness doth suffer the ails and ills of his attacker and thus be forced to retire to his chambers anon.
Thus leadeth us unto the Royal Edict for this evening: No matter how one doth feel after suffering the ills of injury, sickness or attempted harm, think with thine head lest ye be once again suffering the same ails!!

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Yeah To Thee Queen Mother!

Thine Day Hath Come!

Tis the day that thou shalt hold thy Mothers in grand esteem.
In this keep my Queen shall be revered by all who dwell in and around the realm!
So it is decreed under punishment of banishing!! ( Or the stocks with jesters launching whipping cream pies at the perpetrator’s faces, much more the merrier!)

The festivities of the day shall be as follows:

• Resting
• Lounging
• Being Served and waited upon, (a normality whence there are young ones about! HEH HEH HEH)
• Feasting
• More Lounging
• More Resting

That should keep the spirits of the fair Queen at highest levels!

The Feast shall be as follows:

• Squab with sauce de BBQ (aka BBQ Grilled Chicken)
• Pomme De Terre salade mashez (aka Mashed Potato Salad)
• Les Aspargas Grillez avec le sauce du lime y bur ( aka Grilled asparagus in lime and butter)
• Salad des cucumbur (aka Italian cucumber salad in oil and vinegar)
• Pour Dessert Les cakes du verz (aka cupcakes)

A hearty feast fit for a Queen!!

So Today’s Royal Edict: Treat Thine Mothers with the utmost joy, relish her to heights yet unknown for one day when you are one of the aged and gray, you will heap regrets upon thy self for the times you did not let her know that if it were not for her love, caring, guidance and support you would not have made it to where you are now. After All SHE is and always will be your Biggest Fan!!

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Hear Ye Hear Ye The King Still Lives!!

Despite all attempts Our Monarch Lives!!
Much apologies for the lack of edicts of late, but an attempt on Our Beloved Ruler’s life was made recently!

Whilst entering into the treasury room of the castle, I entangled my foot with a floor runner which lifted it up and proceeded to ensnare the other foot. (Blast the feeble minded keep cleaners for leaving the ensnarement. They must have been in cahoots with the assassins!)

Once entangled, I was left with no way to maintain my regal upright stature and therefore began a forward/downward kerplunk, although, I did maintain my poise and dignity in the process, yeah right!! As I crashed down, I slammed one knee into the window wall and then onto the tile floor, slammed the other knee into the wall and twisted both ankles and left toes rather heinously. At the same time I slammed down on my arm and inflicted a blackness to my eye. I must say, I gave that wall a dent, and the rug a rather harsh and stern scolding, unfortunately it retained it’s rather flipped attitude!

So after numerous X-rays, MRI’s, ace bandages and cold packs, I still am suffering the indignities of wearing slippers upon the royal tootsies, normal boots do not fit over the swelling.
Soon the physical therapies will commence on the royal appendages and recovery begins!

So TONIGHT’S EDICT is ”C Sharp thine surroundings Lest ye B flat”!!

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